Hunters are noting that increasingly family members and friends are contacting them to “check in” and “see how they’re doing” in the last week, conveniently whilst supermarkets start showing hour long queues and empty shelves.
“This week has been crazy, I’ve suddenly had three invites for BBQ’s from different family members who subtly have joked about being their new meat supply”, said Tom, as he was getting ready for a day at the range. Tom notes that just last week, his sister who last Christmas created a scene when he mentioned he was looking forward to duck hunting season, has asked if she can tag along to learn a thing or two.
Tom’s hunting mate Matthew has experienced similar unusual people coming out of the woodwork. “Yeah – I had Stacey, the most popular girl from back in high school, add me on Facebook the other night asking if I wanted to catch up. Turns out she was just trying to get 2kg of venison sausages off me.” Matt said he should have thought better, but he misread what she meant when she asked if he’d have the sausage pre-wrapped for her when she turned up.
One user noted they traded half a kilo of diced rabbit for 144 rolls of toilet paper on Facebook Marketplace.
The only person Tom hasn’t heard from recently is his vegan mate Alex, who is struggling to find any of his Chinese-produced b12 vitamins or quinoa in stock as foreign imports are delayed from the virus’ impact of trade.
*this is satire for those who easily fall for fake news